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So where does that leave the ordinary punter who invests in a copy of The Paras Ultimate Fitness?Claire Gillman claims that "anyone who's really motivated can do it", but the Paras pride themselves on being a breed apart - "You're born a Para, really" - and they would be gutted to think any "Joe Crow" could do what they can So would I. As predicted, one of the men began to struggle."Come on, Gore There's no way you're f*****g stopping. If you fall behind now, you'll never catch up and you'll fail the course." The aptly named recruit was in a desperate state. His eyes were rolling and his legs didn't work properly."Cramp, Sir," he mumbled."Pain is just a sensation," yelled Wright, as he dragged Gore along by the straps of his back-pack.And so was dying, it occurred to me. By the finish I had managed six and a half miles, two of them at a brisk march up the hill, but without the 45lb backpack and 9lb machine gun carried by the recruits. Otherwise he could get us all killed.'My legs were killing me by the time we made it to the top of the hill; my clothes were soaked through and I was feeling thoroughly miserable. As ever at such moments, my thoughts turned to subversion."Why don't the men get together and organise a bit of a go-slow? If they were all in it together the instructors might not notice," I ventured.Wright had clearly never considered the possibility of cheating."The brain is also a muscle," I muttered."What?""Nothing," I replied, a coward to the last.The final few miles took place over flatter terrain, and I was idly contemplating a gentle stroll, when Wright whispered to me: "Now we'll find out who really wants it," and ordered everyone to run back to base.

"If he gets more than three minutes behind, put him in the Jeep," said the captain to Corporal Smith.I started to feel rather sorry for the poor recruit, but no one else did Planet Para is an unforgiving world "It has to be like this," explained Wright. 'We have to know where a man's breaking point is before we send him into battle. I tucked in at the rear with Captain Gary Wright for the ascent of a peak known as Murton Pike Very soon one of the men fell behind. If the rest of the British Army can't handle the Para fitness training, what hope was there for me?It was day three of the assessment, and the recruits, laden with 45lb back-packs, were out on an 18-mile tab (tactical advance to battle) across the Pennines in the teeming rain. Would the professionals be able to motivate me any better, encourage me to achieve more than I'd managed on my own? The early signs weren't promising.

"Our blokes do in the first week of training what other regiments achieve after twelve," said Staff Sergeant Mark Geddes, trying to inspire me when we first met at the camp in Catterick, Yorkshire But it had the opposite effect. I had developed a belief in my self and my abilities: I was convinced I couldn't do it.But I knew some men who could, and when the Parachute Regiment invited me, on behalf of the Independent, to join them at their training centre for a day of their Test Week (which all new recruits must pass after 17 weeks basic training similar to that in the book) I couldn't resist. My arms and legs ached constantly from the non-stop diet of five-mile runs, pull-ups, sit-ups, press-ups, step-ups and any other ups you care to think of. I was so tired I could barely speak, and just thinking about the 18-mile run carrying 45lbs that lay ahead in week 15 left me feeling profoundly depressed I was already thinking in terms of having the odd day off "You must have the right, positive approach," the book said. "You must develop a belief in self and your own abilities." In my case, these sentences happened to be contradictory. The first bit was a doddle - in fact it was better than that; it was a pleasure.