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Everyone saw my worst moment, when I tried to trap the ball from the kick- off and Australia eventually scored a try from our lost possession.What happened was that I thought the ball was going to reach me on the full, but it got caught in the wind and dropped short. There were people involved - players and coaching and management staff - for whom I've got a lot of respect and I wanted us to win for them; for Andy Platt, for instance, in what will have been his last chance.There was a general feeling that it was our big opportunity, so to have lost it is particularly painful I took it hard at the end and I make no apology for that. I don't think our effort could be faulted, but we never channelled it in the right direction. When the hooter went I felt as though I'd let a lot of people down. I've rarely known a feeling of disappointment like the one at full-time at Wembley on Saturday The simple fact is that we just didn't play well enough. Substitutes: Cassidy (Wigan) for Harrison, 30; Harrison for Platt, 61; Joynt (St Helens) for Cassidy, 69; Platt for Harrison, 70.Referee: S Cummings (Widnes).. Substitutes: J Smith (Sydney Bulldogs) for Carroll, 50; Carroll for Smith, 61; Smith for Pay, 76.ENGLAND: Radlinski (Wigan); Robinson (Wigan), Connolly (Wigan), Newlove (Bradford), Offiah (Wigan); Smith (Castleford), Goulding (St Helens); Harrison (Halifax), Jackson (Sheffield), Platt (Auckland), Betts (Auckland), Clarke (Sydney City), Farrell (Wigan). Australia: Tries Brasher, Wishart; Goals A Johns 4.AUSTRALIA: Brasher (Sydney Tigers); Wishart (Illawarra), Coyne (St George), Hill (Manly), Dallas (Sydney Bulldogs); Fittler (Penrith), Toovey (Manly); Pay (Sydney Bulldogs), A Johns (Newcastle), Carroll (Manly), Menzies (Manly), Larson (North Sydney), Dymock (Sydney Bulldogs).

''When you make as many errors and concede as many penalties as we did, you are committing suicide,'' Larder said. You can carve that on another headstone in the graveyard where British hopes against Australia are laid to rest - a place that is already over- crowded.England: Tries Newlove; Goals Goulding 2. England did not deserve to win and, if Brasher's clinching try for Australia was a messy one, it produced a final scoreline that reflected the real gap between the sides.Even without a galaxy of stars, there was a basic soundness about them that England could not match - although a few more players as ill as the admirable Gary Connolly would have helped - and their pivotal trio of Geoff Toovey, Brad Fittler and the man of the match, Andrew Johns, controlled the game.Control was what England lacked. Admittedly Menzies is fast for a forward; that is what Offiah is at the moment - fast for a forward.There was no debate about it when Newlove went over to give England hope early in the second half, but again possession was lost straight after the restart when Mick Cassidy knocked on.The moment when England could have snatched the match came when Tony Smith broke through from Betts' pass and appeared to be tripped by Brasher, the last line of defence.The video certainly suggested that it was the prostrate Brasher's leg rather than his hand that brought Smith down, but Betts' view, as good as anyone's, was that his team-mate had fallen over his own feet.That is a fitting epitaph for a display which promised so much but delivered little. It was another close call, but slow motion reveals that Offiah's back foot had shaved the line.Had the game's most prolific winger been his true self, the question would not have arisen, because he would have flown in without going near the touchline or the Australian cover defence.But the departure, temporary or permanent, of Offiah's pace was plain to see in the struggle he had to shake off Steve Menzies at the start of his run. They looked anxious from the start and ruined an opening phase of pressure that brought a Goulding penalty by conceding possession straight from the kick-off.Larder does not publically criticise his players lightly, but he described the way Phil Clarke had let the ball run off his foot as ''a very big error''.It produced Australia's first try and, although it looked a debatable one at the time, the far-side camera showed that Rod Wishart had indeed got pressure on the ball.Likewise the ruling that Martin Offiah had put a foot in touch before getting the ball away for Paul Newlove to follow up and touch down. He has the range in his boot to drive back a defence from anywhere on the field, but his groin injury restricted him to kicking occasionally and gingerly.He was also short of full mobility and spent half-time pacing the corridor outside the dressing room, rather than risk sitting down and stiffening up.There was something stiff and inflexible about the whole English performance.

Too much went straight down the throat of the Australian full-back, Tim Brasher, and only once, in the first minute, did he attempt his trademark - the hugely productive cross-kick for his winger.Part of the explanation is that England rarely worked their way into the right position to give Goulding the angle for that ploy. They might also have done better if Andy Farrell had been able to play a full part. This year, they pecked and picked at the issue as though it was a scratch- card when a bolder investment was needed.Too much reliance was placed on the kicking game of Bobbie Goulding, which was never at its best. Ever since 1990, we have been that close; take out virtually a whole generation of their cream and we are still that close.Saturday's defeat brought back memories of the 1992 World Cup final, also at Wembley. In fairness, it was not quite that bad.Three years ago, the appropriate analogy for the home team's performance was that of a man who hoped to win the lottery without buying a ticket. That, for all Bob Fulton's sophistry on the subject, is largely due to a dozen world class players being left at home for political reasons.What is depressing is that, even without Daley and Clyde et al, they were still good enough when they had to be.

They could argue that they had been unlucky in a series of borderline decisions which went against them; for the most part, they saved their breath, because they knew they had been beaten by a far better side on the day.That must have been the really annoying thing for the coach, Phil Larder, and his captain, Denis Betts, as they listened through the open windows of the press conference to a sound that has become all too familiar - that of Australians celebrating.It remains true that, man for man, England had better players than Australia in this World Cup. Our evidence was so strong that we thought, this farce will be over within hours And then, bang. What a bombshell."When we came back home, we were both suffering. I will not be able to put the season I have lost back at the end of my career. And neither of us can be the same people we were before this happened. Our lives have been in the hands of strangers for far too long now. We want to be finished with it."Diane recalls the original hearing last December "That was a terrible day," she says "We were so confident going in.